In the future everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes.”
~ Andy Warhol
I’ve lost my mind
I’m back on the couch, in my Ready! For! Anything! fetal position and for good reason: it’s December! I’m kidding, of course. The final month of the year isn’t stressful in any way with Christmas and all of its overt commercialization, expectations, and Martha Stewart trappings, final school projects and tests, Christmas cards that need writing, packages that need sending, and loans that need getting in order to afford all of the postage. Oh no, all of this is no stress for me! So I’ve decided to give this December some added Zip and Zest in the way of shameless pimpage for “Scared Silly.” Nothing else going on, right? I might as well…
Let me just SCCCCCRRRRREEEEEAAAAAMMMMMM!!!!! And suck my thumb! Because, in the next two weeks I’ll be doing 3 days of book signings, an hour-long radio interview, AND a TV interview—I’ve already done interviews/ “visits” with a newspaper and a magazine both of which should break around mid-month here in L’ville. AND an initial contact has been made with the local Louisville rag as well.
But here’s the thing about all but one of these stress-inducing moments.
I did them to myself.
No, really.
I actually called the Today’s Woman magazine (a local business/women’s interest mag), the Louisville Courier-Journal (the local paper), our favorite reporter for the Southeast Outlook (our church newspaper), the church bookstore --and here is the part the proves I’ve lost my mind— a local Barnes and Noble (to set up a book-signing), AND WHAS TV.
Why did I do such a thing, you may ask? Was I feverish from the recent flu that tore through our home? Insane from watching a “Spongebob Squarepants” marathon? Overcome with L-tryptophan courtesy of the Thanksgiving Turkey? Simply Pre-menstral? High on Elmer’s glue fumes from homeschooling?
I wish I knew.
But the schedule’s been set and I’m writing to yet again ask for your prayers.
The first is an hour-long interview with WMBI in Chicago, which, I understand is the radio station for Moody Bible Institute. You can see their website at: http://www.mbn.org/GenMoody/default.asp?SectionID=CD6A8113F7BA4EEC9DB4C2B609F01098
And I must say I’m impressed with them if for nothing else than their tagline: “Think Biblically, Live Christianly, Serve Effectively, and Evangelize Consistently.” As one who is known to make up words often, I think anyone directly connected to an institute of higher learning and who can say “Christianly” as part of their mission statement is OK in my book.
But, in case you missed the casualness with which the interview was previously reported, IT’S GOING TO BE AN HOUR LONG! WHAT AM I GOING TO TALK ABOUT FOR A WHOLE STINKIN’ HOUR? And, equally concerning, how will I keep my four brain cells working for sixty whole minutes (3600 seconds)…together…and make FULL sentences with (mostly) REAL words?
That will be this Tuesday, December 4, at noon, my time (I think). You can actually see me on the schedule at: http://www.mbn.org/GenMoody/default.asp?sectionID=030885ADA60845D29273610F87CE6D96 Gaaack.
On Friday, I’ll be on WHAS TV. I believe it’ll be the last 15 minutes of their noon show. Fortunately, 15 minutes really just allows a person to be introduced and answer 1 question, so I might be OK there. Unfortunately, being on TV means that the person being interview is also being seen and this is rather stressful because I won’t be able to participate in my typical nervous mannerisms like wearing sweats, going barefoot, wiggling my leg, twisting my hair, or picking my nose. (JUST KIDDING! I never twist my hair when I’m nervous, it’s gross.) Meghan said she’ll help me pick out my outfit (I think that’s a good thing) and she’ll even come with me to cheer me on. I’m betting they’ll take one look at her and I’ll be out on the street while she becomes the next Adorable Bratty Celeb—OK maybe that’s wishful thinking on me getting out of the interview…but still.
At least I was able to spend some time—and a small fortune (“fortune” here means anything over the $15 hair color kit I used to buy at Wal-mart on sale)—with my hair guy named Stephen so my tresses look like they were all dressed by the same person, instead of the lower half by Dillard’s and the upper half by K-Mart. Well, perhaps not Dillard’s…but for sure Target.
Now If only they would airbrush people on live TV…
The next day, on Saturday (December 8th), my first real book signing happens at a real bookstore. For one torturous hour (from 2 to 3p) I’ll be at the Barnes and Noble in a shopping area called The Summit—an upscale outdoor mall-ish place. Why someplace with such style would let me do a reading and a signing in an upscale area like the Summit is beyond me. I’ve not yet met Denise, the Scheduler of the B&N Signings there, which might have something to do with it.
The following weekend (the 15th and 16th) my friends Ruth and Sara plan to have an article and a review in the church newspaper which will accompany book-signing times at the church’s bookstore. Sara is not only an excellent reviewer, she is manager of The Living Word bookstore at Southeast and she promises to have a stash of Diet Coke for me to chug during the three hours or so (broken up around the three services, thankfully) of trying to be interesting as I sit…not unlike a poorly cooked turkey…waiting to see if someone wants to talk to me.
Much of this activity is a direct result of my Uber Connected Friend Debra who knows who to call and what to say. It is to her awesomeness that I’m indebted. Wait! A! Minute! Now that I think about it, I guess you could say that all of this is her fault. Yeah! I’m a victim! That’s what I am! Where’s Oprah!?
Anyway I’m still on the couch, curled up in a ball and I’ve taken up enough of your precious time. Thank you for letting me freak a bit. And thanks for your prayers. I know everything will go fine—or maybe it won’t. But I’m trusting God a bit better and that means that whatever happens, it’ll be OK and Another Adventure in this Crazy Chapter of Life. At the very least it’ll be another reason to whine to you via this wonderful medium of postage-free virtualness called email.
Thank You and Good Night at: marcyjoybryan@gmail.com
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